


The Right Thing

by Sadrobots



Series: I've Got This Machine [3]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Fnaf novels, Gen, a fic about how my NOTP is Not Good, abuse tw, codependency tw, dissociation tw, suicidal depression tw, the silver eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 15:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13057008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadrobots/pseuds/Sadrobots
Summary: "Tonight is the last time I’ll see William."





	The Right Thing

It’s gotten a little easier to pull myself out of bed. Some mornings I almost think I’m getting better, but I know it’s just because I’m sprinting to the finish line. I don’t forget the laundry, I don’t burn our dinner, I don’t tear up when I tell Charlie I love her. I’m giving her the best last couple of weeks that I have in me. Normal weeks with a normal dad. I’d do this forever if I could, but I can’t and I don’t deserve to. I let her brother die, her mother leave and I keep letting the man behind it all into our home.

For a long time, I was selfish enough to live with that. I’ve tried to turn William in, but when I started dialing the police, I never made it to the last number. When I made the trip to the station, I never went inside, even after four more children disappeared. I can’t be certain William took them, but I’d be more surprised if he hadn’t. The last kid that went missing was Michael Brooks, one of Charlie’s friends. I remember her pulling him into the kitchen and getting him to show me one of his drawings. His little face went from shy to proud when I told him it was really good. After he disappeared, Charlie barely spoke or moved for days, until everything came out at once, anger and sadness and small regrets, almost inaudible through her tears. She asked me who could do something like this.  
        “I don’t know,” I lied.  
In that moment, whatever was holding me together snapped. I didn’t show it then and I’ve held it off for months, but in a few days, I’ll be gone.

Tonight is the last time I’ll see William. I tuck Charlie into bed early. She doesn’t complain, because she knows I’m tired. I kiss her forehead and pat Theodore the rabbit.  
        “Make sure she has nice dreams, buddy.” I always say something like that and then Charlie giggles, just to be nice. I glance at her clock before I turn out the light. It’s eight, I’ve still got an hour before Will gets here. It’s rare that we agreed on a day and a time, usually he just shows up when he feels like it and I meet him in whatever state I happen to be in, but tonight I take a shower and get changed. It feels like I should wear something that makes me look like a person worth missing, except I never let myself think about what I look like, so all my options are garbage. I pick a red flannel shirt that’s actually my size and doesn’t have any holes in it. Red is memorable and clashes with William’s eternal purple. I consciously try not to button it wrong and still have to do it twice.  
        “Idiot!” I snap at myself, then chuckle because it’s such an overreaction. It’s okay to make a small mistake, Henry. What’s not okay, is how much I still care what William thinks of me. From the moment he first looked at me, all calm and confident and waiting for me to prove myself, I wanted to impress him. I’d like to think I know better now, but here I am, dressing for the man that killed my son like this is a fucking date.

Even now, he’s more to me than that. He’s the business partner who looked me in the eye and said he believed in me. He’s the dork who sincerely thought “Bonnie” was a clever name for a rabbit. He’s the friend who could be so strong one minute and so vulnerable the next. He’s the one that didn’t leave me. The thought tastes like metal burning in the back of my throat, but I love him. In every sense of the word, though it took me seven years to own up to that.

Now my head keeps replaying moments where I should’ve been honest with myself. It’s the summer we opened the first restaurant and I’m lost in my work, as usual. William has walked into the shop, but I don’t notice him until he’s right next to me and says my name. The sound runs through me and I feel weird for the rest of the day. It’s winter, the heater gave out and I’m freezing, so I put on the first sweater in arm’s reach and it’s his and it smells like him and I…

I punch my mattress and remember where I am. It’s nine twenty, I’m sitting on the edge of my bed. I started getting dressed fifty minutes ago and still haven’t gotten to my socks. Will is late, because while he insists everyone else is on time, the rules don’t apply to him. I finish getting dressed, make myself a cup of disgusting instant coffee and sit in the living room. I blink and it’s an hour later. He’s still not there, so I go to my workshop, though I can’t bring myself to do anything. Just as I’m thinking he doesn’t deserve a goodbye anyway, I hear footsteps in the grass.  
        “Hello, Henry.” William is an ominous shape in the doorway.  
        “You’re late,” I say, not expecting an apology. I walk towards him and he wraps me in a hug, I close my eyes and forget I’m mad.  
        “You’re not wearing your glasses,” he states. I touch my face to confirm and he laughs at me. “It’s fine, you look better without them.”  
We go into the house to watch a movie, though I can’t actually see the screen. William has always been touchy and up in people’s personal space. With employees, it’s light pats on the arms and back. With me, it’s putting his arm around me when we’re sitting together. I know it’s a power thing, but I allow him to do it and lean against him, feeling treasured and gross. There’s moments where I try to say something, but I don’t know what.

When he gets up to leave, I walk him to the door. He says he’ll see me and it really hits me that he won’t. I get the impulse to kiss him and it’s terrible and I’m terrible, so I run my hands into his hair and feel his nose against my skin as I finally do it. I moved in slow, but he’s still startled when our lips touch. It would be sweet, if he was anybody else. He puts his hand on my waist to pull me in, because a kiss is like a compliment and he’d never turn that down, but I move away and step back over the threshold. I take a deep breath and look at him for the last time.  
        “Goodbye, William.”  
I shut the door and turn the key. After a few shallow breaths, I start to cry and sink to the floor. It’s heartbreak and relief. It’s over.

When the tears run out, a strange calmness washes over me. I lean against the door and run my hand over the bristles of the mat. I know what’s going through William’s head right now. If he was me, he’d feel terrible about cheating on his wife, but oh, he isn’t me. He’s grinning to himself, high on attention. He already thought I was at his feet, but now I’m even lower, more pathetic, more dependent, easier to control, less likely to leave. Now more than ever, he thinks killing my son was the right thing to do.

My face breaks into a smile. Oh William. It’s your turn to lose someone.

I hope it hurts.


End file.
